(In good ole' Lutheran 4-part harmony)
Ein' feste Burg ist unser Gott,
Ein gute Wehr und Waffen

(Spoken)

  You ever have one of those Sunday mornings when every little thing tells 
  you that the Holy Spirit's gettin' on your case, from the preacher right 
  on down to your best Sunday School teacher?  Yeah, I have Sundays like 
  that all the time.  But I'm holdin' off the best I can.  

  Let me tell you 'bout it!
Sittin' in the back pew, thinkin' it's a drag
40 minute sermons, well, just ain't my bag
The blessing is given, you know that's my cue
I'm gonna meet the boys by the coffee and the juice

'Cuz I'm stuffy and I'm Lutheran,
Yeah, I'm stuffy and I'm Lutheran,
Hey, now people, don't you judge me from up on your perch,
'Cuz every Lutheran knows excitement's not allowed in church

Through the confession, absolution and prayer
The Holy Spirit's knockin', "Hey is anybody there?!"
The sermon really hits me, I'm feelin' the call,
But if I shout Amen, it would be the death of us all!

'Cuz I'm stuffy and I'm Lutheran,
Yeah, I'm stuffy and I'm Lutheran,
Hey, now choir, don't inspire, better stick to a dirge,
'Cuz every Lutheran knows that clapping's not allowed in church

(Solo...)

(Hey, wait a minute; this isn't a hymn...!)
(Where's the pipe organ? I don't hear any pipe organ)
(Did you put a guitar amplifier near the altar?!)
(I'm tellin' ya, we ain't never done it that way before!)
(The Board of Elders is going to hear about this next month!!!)

Well, I went to see the pastor, "Hey, I got some trouble, man"
"I've been getting the urge to smile and raise my hands"
"My son, please don't do that!," He swore in an oath
"If I allow that, they'd be laying hands on us both!"

'Cuz we're stuffy and we're Lutheran,
We're stuffy and we're Lutheran,
Yes, we are a quiet stop on your spiritual search,
'Cuz every Lutheran knows that Amens aren't allowed in church

(Please rise for the reading...)

Yes, we're stuffy and we're Lutheran (whoa yeah)
Well, we're stuffy and we're Lutheran (I tell ya)
That we're stuffy and we're Lutheran (Peace also be with you)
Yeah, we're stuffy and we're Lutheran

Hey, now people, don't you judge us, from up on your perch,
'Cuz every Lutheran knows excitement's not allowed in church!