Clean shirt, sweat pants
Stare at a screen until I'm in a trance
My workplace is my dining room
Waist-up is all that I'm gonna groom!

Video conference got me feeling weird
But everyone's crazy 'bout my COVID beard!

Email, chat ding
Turn on the webcam and behold this thing
Stubble, used to itch, 
But now it's flowing, lookin' full and rich

My wardrobe fashion sense has disappeared,
But everyone's crazy 'bout my COVID beard!

WebEx, Zoom and Skype
But I don't care, I've got great Vandyke
Headphones on my ears
Lookin' sharp 'cuz I ditched the shears

Nobody forced me, yeah, I volunteered
Now everyone's crazy 'bout my COVID beard!